Special Occasions

[scubadoo]

My mother taught me to read when I was four
years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the
bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was
ajar

I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother
why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't
they belong in the kitchen?


Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts,
she told me that those were for "special occasions"
(her second mistake).

Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving
Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle
and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for
all of us while they were gone.

Mine was to set the table.

When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into
laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next
came my father, who roared with laughter.

Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment
when she saw each place setting on the table with a
"special occasion" Kotex napkin at each plate, with the
fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little
tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent
the other adults into further fits of laughter.

"But, Mo m, you said they were for special occasions!!!"