The Eel

[reggae]

Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age, rather
curious, he had been hearing quite a bit about "courting" from the older
boys and wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his
questions to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of
explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one
night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The
following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off
most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured
sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He
must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to
feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except, he's not as smart
as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.

I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been
cold, because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got
worse, and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down the
end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I knew it was a
fever because sis told him she was really hot. Finally, I found out
what was making them so sick.... a big eel had gotten inside his pants
somehow... it jumped out of his pants and stood there, about ten inches
long. Honest. Anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from
getting away.

When sis saw it, she got really scared... her eyes got big, and her mouth
fell open and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She
said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the
one down at the lake!

Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting it's head off.
All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit
her back. Sis then grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while
he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to
keep it from biting again. Sis then layed back and spread her legs so
she could get a scissor lock on its head, he helped by lying on top of
the eel.

The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing
and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill
the eel by squashing it between them.

After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her
boyfriend got up, and sure enough they had killed the eel. I knew it
was dead, because it just hung there, limp and some of its insides was
hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired form the battle, but they went
back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By
golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight
again. I guess eels are like cats....they have nine lives or something.

This time, sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it.
After a 36 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was
dead because i saw sis boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the
toilet"

By this time, Johnny's mother had passed out cold