All trains to Aldershot

[miami]

An old railway servant had spent his whole life at one station on the
(former) Great Western line. One of his main job was to call out:

"Next train for Oxshott, Bagshot and Aldershot."

"Change for Uppingham, Woking, and Buckingham. Not for Hants, Dorset and
the West."

One day the District Manager came, and explained that under the Beeching
reforms he would be replaced by a Tannoy system, and was now redundant.

On the old man's last day at work, startled commuters heard:

"Next train for Ox shit, pig shit and all the shit."

"Change for tupping'em, poking and fuckingham, not your pants, corsets
and vest."

"Furthermore, rollocks, pollocks and assholes to the fornicating railway,
I've had me cards!"