Welshman

[miami]

This English gentleman was driving his Roller through wild Wales....

When all of a sudden this chap called Dai (for it was he) jumps out into
the middle of the single-track road brandishing a 12 bore shotgun and
pointing it directly at Fotherington-Smythe. F-S screeched to halt. A
year's worth of rubber on the Roller's tyres burned in a couple of
seconds.

Dai gestures with the barrel of the gun that F-S should wind down the
window. F-S does not feel like arguing.

"W....w...what do you want?" asks F-S.

"Masturbate!" says Dai.

"What? Here and now?" Asks F-S incredulously.

"Aye, aye, and be quick about it" replies Dai, waving the barrel of the
aged shotgun an inch from F-S' right year.

After F-S had filled his hanky he asked "Now what?"

"Masturbate!" says Dai.

"What? Again?" asks F-S.

"Aye, aye, and be quicker about it" replies Dai, waving the barrel of the
aged shotgun closer to F-S' right year.

Comes the time when F-S asks again "Now what?"

"Masturbate!" says Dai.

"What? Again?" asks F-S.

"Aye, aye, and be quicker again" replies Dai, poking the barrel of the
aged shotgun against F-S' earlug.

This went on for quite a while until F-S finally implored "I can't. I
can't. I've got nothing more to offer. Anything.... anything else,
please, don't expect me to do that again for a fortnight..... please ask
me to do
something else"

"Oh. Ok then." says Dai "you can now give my daughter a lift into
town...