Frank's Cafe

[vodoo]

There's this bloke, Frank, who runs a cafe in the town centre. One day
a health and saftey inspector visits his outlet, in disguise. Anyway
Frank is rinsing the glasses with really dirty dishwater, and spitting
on the glasses to polish in a shine. The inspector is a little taken
aback but goes up to the bar nonetheless. Frank is obviously alergic to
the inspectors hairspray or something because hr sneezes an almighty
amount of goo into his hands, and then proceeds to wipe it down his

apron.
"I'll have a cupcake please, and four fudge brownies," says the
inspector.
"Right," snuffled Frank, and promptly grabs the brownies in his filthy
hands and pops them on the dirty counter.
"What else was it, sir?" asks Frank, but the inspector can take it no
more and bursts out:
"I'm a health inspector, and may I say Mister, that this is the
filthiest establishment I have ever seen. Your walls are filthy, the
counter's filthy, you're filthy, and I can smell your toilets from here!

You display no knowledge of hygiene, and blatently use your hands to
serve. Where are the cake tongs? Those marvelous things you pick cakes
up in! Where are your gloves? I'm giving you two weeks to clean this
place up sir, and if you fail, I will take great pleasure in closing you
down!" Well the inspector leaves, and Frank sits down, shocked. He starts
to think about the task ahead.

Two weeks pass, and the inspector returns. The place looks totally
different it's clean, and it smells clean, Frank is standing there with

gloves and cake tongs, and he's even bought a dishwasher, had a new
paint job, and fixed the toilets.
"Well, I never thought you'd do it, but you've proved me wrong," says
the inspector. "I'll have a fudge brownie please."
Sure enough, Frank uses the cake tongs, puts the brownie in a little
bag, wraps it, and places it on the clean counter.
"I am impressed sir!" exclaimed the inspector. "You've made many extra
improvements, and you are the finest place I have visited all week. I

bid you a good day!"
"Wait on," said Frank. "I've made lots more improvements than you've
seen yet. Take my lavatory system for example, which is unique. You see
I've got this bit of string tied round my willy, and when I need to go, I
just pull the string, out it flops, and I don't even need to touch it!"
"Marvelous," says the inspector, tucking wholeheartedly into his
brownie.
He turns to leave but then has a thought.
"How do you put it away again?" he inquires, "without touching it, I

mean."

"Simple," laughs Frank. "I use the cake tongs."