How to Grow Beautiful Tomatoes

[miami]

Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable
garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to
ripen. Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful, bright red
tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret. "It's really
quite simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day, in the morning and
in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn
red with embarrassment." Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried
his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants, twice daily.
Two weeks passed and her neighbor stopped by to check her progress.
"So," he asked. "Any luck with the tomatoes?" "No," she replied
excitedly..... "But you should see the size of my cucumbers!"